Sunday, December 2, 2012

Old Me Interviews the New Me

My life has changed SO MUCH in the past five months since getting the LapBand.The Old Me, a 250 lb couch potato, can hardly believe it. She wanted to sit down and ask the New Me (a 201 lb marathoner)  some questions. This is how the interview went:

OLD ME: Wow. You completed your first 5K marathon yesterday. WTF? What on Earth possessed you?
NEW ME: Yeah. I can't believe it myself. It started as an idea at work. My boss suggested we get a team together to participate in the Dirty Girl Mud Run and help raise money for breast cancer. At first I was soft on the idea. There were so many reasons NOT to do it: mud. running. 5K (3miles). But I really wanted to support the cause and be a good team member at work.

OLD ME: How did you train for the event?
NEW ME: Actually I have a confession.  Since it is not a 'timed' event, not a 'competitive' event, I had convinced myself that I would only walk between the obstacles. And that I would choose the 'easiest' obstacle, or walk around most of them (they had obstacles for all levels: you could climb a high wall, a medium wall, a small wall, or just walk around...)  So my 'training' consisted of simply walking on a treadmill or eliptical at the gym, 3 days a week. I'd do 45minutes to an hour.  It's actually just my usual exercise program I've had since my surgery. My natural stride is about 3mph, so I figured it would take me about an hour to complete the 5K.

OLD ME: Ok. So let's be honest. You're saying you really didn't train for this event. Because you were going to walk it, and skip most obstacles. How did that work out for you?
NEW ME: Well what I didn't factor in was the encouragement I got from my co-workers, other participants, and the crowd. My boss (who easily could have run ahead of me...) stayed back with me, and cajoled me in to jogging as much as I could. "It's just as easy as walking, I promise you..."  "Breathe in through your nose, out your mouth..."  Another team member stayed back with me too, so we three completed the course together.

OLD ME: Ok, so you jogged more than you expected to. What about the obstacles? You went around most of them, right?
NEW ME: Again, I had misjudged the adrenaline rush/Rocky Balboa feeling that I got from the whole thing. So I found myself drawn to the bigger/taller obstacles. I would see all these women doing it, women of all sizes/ages/walks of life. I would see them scaling the tallest wall, and I'd think, "yeah, I can do that! Move outta my way!..."  And I did it. I scaled the tallest walls and crawled in the lowest, muddiest pits. And just when I thought I couldn't go anymore, just when I wanted to lay down and cry (my lungs were burning and my legs felt like rubber): I saw the finish line. There were lots of fun (read: muddy) obstacles at the end, and there was a large crowd gathered, so we sprinted those last few steps. It was a blast.

OLD ME: So it's one day after the event. How do you feel?
NEW ME: Well, my legs (thighs) are a little sore. The feeling you get when you work out a new muscle/try a new exercise. Otherwise, I feel great. Mentally, I feel such a great sense of accomplishment. I think I know why people get addicted to marathoning. I had such a sense of euphoria yesterday!! I guess that was the "runner's high" that people talk about. I know I'm hooked. Sign me up for next year!

OLD ME: Wow. It's like I don't even know you anymore. Anything you'll do differently next time?
NEW ME: Yes, next time I will definitely train. I will work on running/jogging more. And I will wear Spandex instead of loose yoga pants. That mud gets really heavy!  I was at high risk for a wardobe malfunction! I vow to wear Spandex despite the size of my thighs.

OLD ME: I just cannot believe what/who you've become. Let's be honest here. You miss me, don't you? Just a little?
NEW ME: No, not in the least. You stretched out my birthday suit, and you put me at risk for heart failure and diabetes. I'm not mad at you. I just feel sad for you. But I will let you come back and interview me anytime you'd like.

OLD ME: Well alrightythen. Pass me those biscuits, will ya? You're not gonna eat them....


  1. congrats to you on a major accomplishment!

    1. Thanks!! Cross another item off my bucket list!